It is offensive to say that homosexuals deserve to die, even if it was not aimed at anyone in particular, much like it is offensive to say that black people should go back to Africa or that Stalin should have killed all the Lithuanians. It is a really, really horrible thing to say on general principle. Hate speech does not have to be aimed at a specific person to be hateful, it can just be about a group of people (gays, black people, Lithuanians, etc.). Is you actual opinion somewhat different from what you presented on MSN, because "fags should die" is really, really awful.
This sort of shit takes on many forms both obvious ("fags should die") and more subtle and insidious (casually referring to things you don't like as "gay', like in "this band is gay"). All are harmful to the people the words refer to. Despite what the old proverb might say, words do hurt, and yours cut very deep. Even the lesser offenses, like the casual use of "gay" as a disparaging term, bother the victims of the terminology, if not nearly as much.
I understand if people also hate you for the way you are, but two wrongs do not make a right. I try to avoid any kind of hate, even if it's tempting to hate rednecks, fundamentalists, and people who voted for Proposition 8. Also remember that the problems we face every day are really, really bad. People get murdered for their sexual orientation. In some places revealing your orientation, even to your family, is a game of Russian roulette. I had the luck of having a supportive family. Some people do not have that luck.
I hope you will understand one day that homosexuals are not bad people. We are no more likely to steal, kill, attack people, or lie than anyone else. People's sexual preferences should be tolerated unless they involve a lack of consent or sex with those who cannot consent--children, the mentally handicapped, animals. Why persecute people for what they do in the bedroom between consenting adults? They know what they are doing; they are not hurting anyone.
And no, gay pride ceremonies are not part of our sex lives. They are political demonstrations against oppression and persecution and a show of solidarity in the face of hostility. If there were no homophobia, these parades would not exist because there would be no need for them. They are loud and attention-getting because they, like all protests, must be. Sitting at home talking politely about gay rights isn't going to get anything done. For us, it is similar to the protest Martin Luther King led in Washington for black people, or that video you showed me of people defiantly singing Lithuanian songs in front of oncoming tanks.
And remember, just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean everyone will accept it. You really touched a nerve with what you said and it's hurt me a great deal. I will work with you again if and when you agree accept us as human beings equal to the same degree of rights and dignity as yourself. I have laid out my conditions, and I do not think they are particularly harsh or unfair.