Author Topic: Blonde Jokes  (Read 22750 times)

Brockenstein

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Blonde Jokes
« on: December 20, 2009, 12:19:19 AM »
Tell us your blonde jokes i'll start.

A Blonde came home one day from work and found her boyfriend with another woman. She was so devastated that she grabbed the gun out of the dresser drawer and put it up to her head threatening to commit sucide.

The boyfriend in shock screams, "No honey don't do it, I am so sorry!" Then the blonde says, "Shut up! You're next!"



dragonsniper

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2009, 01:47:40 AM »
Here are a couple that I heard of a while back...

"Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

"A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

"There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping."

Didn't know that blondes made things... here are a couple I also heard of...

"Screen door on a submarine"
"Helicopter ejection seat"
"Battery-powered battery charger"
"Fireproof matches"

Snail

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2009, 02:14:59 AM »
lulz

FreeSpaceF

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2009, 07:52:22 AM »
:lol:

Scourge of Ages

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2009, 02:07:56 AM »
Quote from: dragonsniper;123799
"Battery-powered battery charger"

^Actually Exist.^ You can charge your battery by using non-rechargeables if you can't find any place to plug it in to the wall.

Here's one:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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FreeSpaceF

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2009, 07:46:59 AM »
DX :lol:

dragonsniper

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2009, 11:32:27 PM »
:lol:

Falco314

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2010, 12:00:30 PM »
Quote from: Scourge of Ages;124178
^Actually Exist.^ You can charge your battery by using non-rechargeables if you can't find any place to plug it in to the wall.

Here's one:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

LMAO!

here goes one

at the BSP(Blonde Space Program)...
Looking at the nearly complete rocket, one of the leading engineers of the project(blonde, of course), says to the other one: Okay, now that our Rocket is complete, we can start our expedition to the Sun!
And the other blonde looks at her for a second and asks:But... won't the sun burn down the ship?
The first one immeadtly replies: DuUh! we're going at night!

okay, kinda dumb :/
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dragonsniper

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2010, 04:20:48 PM »
:lol: Lol.

khoa

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2012, 04:51:10 PM »
thanks for your funny stories :))

hung

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2012, 04:57:56 PM »
:D

Interested

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2012, 10:35:59 PM »
hahahahah

Jaqub Jackson

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Blonde Jokes
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2013, 06:32:40 PM »
Ha ha ha! Very funny topic this is. Lot of laughing. I am very excited and glad to read this post. I appreciate and thank the member who post such funny jokes. Thank you so much for posting such thread.