Author Topic: Something that was forwarded to me.  (Read 3472 times)

Taristin

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« on: May 20, 2005, 03:57:49 AM »
I share it below:


Quote
Private Message, Dated 05-19-2005 09:00 PM:

The following image has been floating around various forums for several days now. For those of you who don't know, the WB wants to revamp some of their classic cartoon characters for the hip, young, edgy, and totally x-treme youth of today.

Nevermind that we were all very tired of it five years ago when that sort of thing was only new and painfully dull. Now it's hackneyed, cliche, and kind of sad.

Look out, Bugs Bunny. Make room for BUZZ BUNNY (totally x-treme guitar riff, yyeeeeeeaaah!)



Loonatics, man! 'Cause they're CRAZY. They make regular x-treme look, like, y'know, something so not x-treme you can't think of a word for it. You can't talk about them without excessive use of BOLD ITACLIC CAPS, MAN, TO THE MAX!

I find the philosophy behind being a television or Hollywood executive fascinating. Apparently these are people utterly devoid of taste or culture. They are completely without a sense of what is good. It's like how sociopaths are incapable of feeling empathy. They can maim and kill and torture people because they are hardwired not to understand that it's bad to do that. You can't fix these people, they are broken from the factory and need to be destroyed after studying how fucked up they are so we can identify and destroy them better in the future.

That's what these executives are like, only instead of lacking empathy -- which they may very well also lack -- they lack a sense of what good is. The rest of humanity has it. Sure, we might disagree about specifics, but there are certain instances where crap is crap and no one can deny it. I'm not saying Catwoman was one such movie, but it was. Allow me to demonstrate using events from your own life:

You go to the movies and the trailers start up. Invariably, there's at least one (and as many as all) that depict a movie of such banality that you can't believe millions and millions of dollars were spent to make it when they could have been better spent by burning them to keep the homeless from freezing in the dead of winter. There are moments in these trailers that are obviously supposed to be hilarious. They edit up the dialogue, put in some wacky music, and cut to a record stratching while someone makes a goofy face.

And the theater is silent.

Why?

Because normal humans can detect shit. It's a survival instinct so we don't defecate upon what we eat. In the modern world, where survival isn't as important as entertainment, we've honed that sense to keep us away from things that will waste our precious idle moments.

But somehow, the very men and women who dictate what will constitute the most popular forms of entertainment, are the very people who have no idea what is actually worth watching.

Their only defense is to churn out any piece of shit that parrots whatever the last thing was that did really well -- NO IDEA HOW OR WHY -- and pray to their dark gods that history repeats itself again. This is why bullet time was used in everything, especially when it wasn't needed. "Hey, the kids loved that 'bulleted time', let's jam it into every action sequence for every movie, including period pieces and nature documentaries, and it'll be totally x-treme. Also, I will vote for my own raise."

After watching a movie that, somehow, was good, do you find yourself wondering how the hell it got made? So are the executives! Except you don't know because 99% of what's out there is crap and you can't believe something good actually made it. The executives don't know because they can't tell the difference. They are color blind and at a stop light saying, "Now what's the gray light mean again?"

This abortion of entertainment, LOONATICS BWREEEOOOWWR, is supposed to be a reaction to the success of Teen Titans. Apparently the kids, who are all quite edgy and x-treme these days, prefer TT because of the sharp colors, lines, and angles. Also, it's totally in your face and to the max with x-treme. Warner Bros. felt that their own cartoons were losing ground to this new wave of animation and it was time to update the classics to today's standards of x-treme which are, like, way more x-treme than they were in the '20s or whatever.

I find this funny because Warner Bros. neutered the majority of their totally non-x-treme cartoons because they were too edgy or violent for today's sensitive market filled with parents who are too complacent to take care of their kids and looking for anybody to sue/blame when precious little Hunter Madison Chandler Archer does something incredibly stupid/fatal because no one's there to tell him what's right, wrong, or real.

And these same all consuming, all screaming brats of the world have an attention span best measured in ritalin dosages, so they can't tolerate the slow pace and complex narratives of classic Warner Bros. cartoons after all the imitatable violence has been stripped out for their own good. Enter, LOONATICS SUPERFASTCLOSE-UPS AND EXPLOSIONS YEAH.

Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Maybe other industries should follow this totally x-treme example. And follow it to the max. Publishers should make their products more x-treme and instead of books they could print GBAs. I mean, there's some reading there. Advance Wars has, like, a totally epic story.
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karajorma

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2005, 08:43:44 AM »
Brilliant and pretty accurate too. :D

Singh

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2005, 08:24:56 AM »
I agree 100% with that article.

But then, its the Americans that get affected teh most by this. I still have good programs here on local TV that simply kick it's ass back to the west and back :P

MatthewPapa

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2005, 07:57:33 PM »
Agreed. What can we do about it though?

phreak

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2005, 09:08:49 PM »
They should have renamed him Efram the Retarded Rabbit.

Hippo

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2005, 12:25:43 AM »
Or made him an infected elf... :nervous:
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Jonathan_S47

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Something that was forwarded to me.
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2005, 02:36:51 PM »
Thatís old.
click here

Itís kind of ironic that the very audience WB was going for started a petition to stop them.
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